It’s come to my attention that not everyone understands that you no longer get the chance to be old to live your life or at least to complete it fully. I’m not even close to being 30 yet and somehow I’ve managed to escape death more times than your average person.
Every day I’m thankful for something. Sometimes it just for waking up without my heart giving out and other days it’s because I’m allowed to go leave the country soon (come October) and see other things. I’m not sure everyone understands the shit people go through when they are sick and can only handle some of it. So, here you go, some lessons I hope some of you carry with you and that you learn from. I wish someone would have told me….or at least convinced me that I could have used.
Thank you and carry on.
1. When you love someone, don’t be afraid they don’t love you back. A lot of people don’t even know what love is until it’s gone. Just lay it all on the line. Let the person you have a bit of feelings for in on your secret. They just might tell you to fuck off, or they might return them. Either way, at least they know someone cares, even if they don’t want you to.
2. Do EVERYTHING you talk shit about doing because you never know when something great may come from it. Doesn’t matter how scary, or lame, or stupid, or whatever you want to use there, just…..do it. Just jump into the pool. If you think you’re going to drown…I’m PRETTY sure someone will be there to save you. No doubt. Someone will be there to throw you an innertube.
3. Smile…as much and as often as you can. Just…smile. It’s good and it feels good. You never know who the hell is looking at you, or who needs it. It’s simple and there is nothing to it.
4. Sing no matter who is listening. It’s fun. It sets you free. Even a little bit. It does.
5. Forgive people. No one is perfect and even though it may have hurt you, take the lesson with you. That’s all you can do with the hurt. You have to learn from it, and hope someone doesn’t do it again. Let’s face it….everything hurts. Just sometimes some things are worth the pain, others are not. Move on. :)
True shit right here. I love this.
I would have written a story…if I knew someone cared…but they don’t.
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“It’s like you’re screaming, and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it’s over, and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good.”
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Gotta love some transformers.
This is how it is…you want to say you will see them again…but in the end, the only thing you can do is say goodbye. I’ve been there. I’ve been in a situation where you want so badly to just..walk away without giving two shits what the person is doing. You don’t want to care about their tears, their words, but you look at them…and you let yourself hurt, while you say goodbye. Most of you wants to mean it, but in the end, you know that it’s the last time you speak to them, look at them…you just move on. You let it all go.
I never claimed to be pretty
and I never claimed to be nice
but somewhere in the middle of my fucked up mind
I thought you loved me
You said you did…
I’m beginning to think I’m not meant to be loved, yet to give love. Giving love is about the only thing I can do without any hurt for someone else. Maybe for me, but not for them. Lame. What can you do?
When she was 6
When she was six, she didn’t presume for a swain,
All the boys tried to attract her attention, in vain.
That’s the sea of Perfection, she expected to swim,
These colorless boys rivaled to kindle her, with vim.
But what really melted the heart of this white swan,
Was proving, without eraser, an Ideal could be drawn.
Time : 25 hours
Software : Photoshop CS2
Tool : Wacom Intuos 4M
Work in progress :
This is amazing….<3
i came back to you with no intention to fall in love again
because now we’re completely different, nothing like we were then
you wanted to see me naked, wanted to see me come for you
sending me pictures of yourself, proving it was all for me, a dream come true
never once did i ever ask to see such beauty that i could save to my phone
sending you small videos of me getting off so you can have me when you came home
people may think i was just so stupid and naive
but it’s not like you didn’t do the same, sending to recieve
i would scream your name
and you would do the same
while my mouth traveled along the length of your body, tasting your skin
begging for just the right time to put it in
i would bite and i would claw
and i would be speechless after being fucked against the wall
we would laugh and we breathe heavily
and you would roll over, smiling, anticipating readily
climbing on top just to feel everything i had to offer
first pounding so hard it hurt, then begging for you to go softer
my heart barely able to make any sense
of this feeling that was so immense, so intense
but i did it, and i swallowed all the doubt i held inside
while right to my face, you just fucking lied
about having someone else, lingering on the side
and i tried
to hold my pride
higher than i thought i could, but later on i would subside
to the pain that i thought was intensified
so laid in my bed, deleted your number and just let myself cry
night time fell and all you wanted was attention all the time
begging for me just to say, without a reason, without a rhyme
now i tried really hard to let my feelings go
not to let them show
because somewhere i held a weakness that you would use against me when you started to feel low
i played along with you though when you said you’d always be here
but i knew for a fact that you wouldn’t but it was nice to hear
you moved on to someone else so quick, just left me with a broken heart souvenir
why is it every time i let myself get close to you you make sure to leave without me
its like you purposely do it just to prove that you control me
that im not worthy
yet when no one else is around and the silence is settling in, the heart barely beats, its frozen
you tell me im the one that would your once in a lifetime
and you’ll be with me in both rain and in shine
why do i find myself looking around the room
hoping that i just get a phone call soon?
its my mistake, right?
to let you control my nights?
maybe this time, when you come back, i won’t have anything left
and we can leave this pathetic love to rest
no matter what, you’ll always be the one i love, the one i wanted to marry, the one i wanted to fight for
but it seems i am always the one who is standing there, while you’re quickly running out of the door
i am sorry i can’t be what you want me to be
im sorry i won’t be waiting when you’re ready to marry me
but im mostly sorry for the person who you leave because you cant get me out of your head
by the time you understand i am what you want, we’ll be both be better off dead
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